Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Guest Post By Dana Bettwy, LePort Parent

montessori preschool

I have two children currently enrolled at the LePort Montessori campus in Woodbridge (the Irvine – Lake campus.) Our son just completed his second year, and our daughter, her first. 

Beyond finances, however, there are other factors as well—some that may not appear all that dramatic on the surface.  Still, I think these "less obvious" differences are critical to making an educated decision, one that is in your child’s best long-term interest.  Different aspects matter more or less for different parents.  For me, certain factors such as parent fund-raising, and the food they serve at school are incidental.  Social development, the learning environment and overall happiness of my child are the most important considerations for me.  Academics are important, but I am more interested "how" my child learns to learn at this stage in the game, as opposed to "what" they learn, per se. 



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Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Encouraging child independence

When toddlers and young preschoolers start in Montessori, parents are often amazed at the sudden spurt in independence and skill their children display.
If your child is starting in a Montessori toddler or preschool program, and you want to witness this incredible development in your own child, it helps if you are able to prepare your home environment in ways that support your child’s new skills and desire to be independent.
Here are some ideas to consider:
  1. Provide simple storage spots for belongings right inside the front door.  A small rug to place shoes or a basket to put them into and some hooks to hang jackets are a great start.  This can help your child get out of the house and back in more independently, and maybe prevent some meltdowns!  A little stool to sit on helps, as well.
  2. Make your kitchen accessible to your child.  Find a low shelf or drawer to store cups, placemats, and utensils within your child’s reach.  Buy glass cups and inexpensive ceramic plates (IKEA is great!) that you don’t mind getting broken.  Invite your child to set his own place at the table.  A bigger step stool, or a learning tower can be a great help to little people who want to join you in the fun cooking activities at counter height.  And, of course, when it comes time to sit down and eat, encourage your child to feed himself:  Even young toddlers can eat finger-foods on their own, and start using a spoon; this is what they do in their Montessori classrooms, too.
  3. Organize and simplify the play area.  Fewer toys, displayed on open shelves, are preferable over lots of toys in boxes that the children can’t see.
  4. Small chairs and tables facilitate independent snack time and organized playtime.  Provide some buckets, sponges, rags, and child-sized brooms, and your child can even clean up after himself.
  5. Facilitate getting dressed independently.  Low open shelves, low racks, a mirror and a bench with brush or comb can enable even 2- or 3-year-olds to begin to dress independently, especially if you pre-select an outfit the night before, or lay out two simple choices for a younger child.
  6. Consider a floor or other low bed.  Some Montessori parents never have cribs; instead, they baby-proof an entire room and let even infants sleep on a floor bed.  While this may not work for every parent, a low bed or a twin mattress on the floor can be a great step up after a crib, instead of a toddler bed.
  7. Make books accessible and create cozy reading areas.  The more that books are all over your house, the easier it is for your child to grab a book instead of asking for your iPhone or the TV when you are not available to play.
To see growth in your child’s independence, it’s not necessary to reorganize your entire house (who has the time and energy for that?!).  Just pick one or two ideas and make little changes over time.  You might think your child is too young to take advantage of these kinds of opportunities for independence—but once she starts school, you might be just as surprised and thrilled as the LePort Montessori parents who wrote the Facebook posts above! 
Thanks to Bernadette, a LePort parent of three children, ages infant to preschool, for inviting us into her house to take many of these beautiful pictures!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Ask Dr. Sears: Preschool Questions

By William Sears, M.d.

My child is 2 years old, and we're planning to put him in preschool. What factors should we consider when selecting one?

[ANSWER {My first piece of advice: Don't feel pressured to get your child into a preschool before he's ready. It's my belief, although there's no research to support it, that one of the great preschool myths is that your child may be academically disadvantaged if he doesn't attend a preschool. When parents who aren't keen on putting their kids in preschool ask me for my thoughts, I tell them the only things children are likely to get at preschool that they won't at home are bad habits and an increase in their exposure to germs. That said, there are situations, such as a parent returning to work, when not going to preschool is not an option. Also, some parents feel that their child will profit from the companionship and the group-learning stimulation of preschool.
If you do decide to send your son to preschool, it's important to match him with the right one, since this is probably his first experience with regularly being away from home, learning to get along in a group, and getting his first taste of "school." You're going to have to do some homework. Quiz neighboring parents who have child-rearing values similar to yours and ask which preschools they recommend. You'll also want to consider the following:
Preschool should be an extension of home: Your son's public education should complement rather than replace his home education. Ideally, the preschool you choose should share your child-rearing values. It's best to begin your search by making a list of priorities, such as a nurturing staff.

Visit the preschools on your list: (1) Examine the child-to-teacher ratio. At 2 years of age, it should be no higher than six children per teacher. (2) Meet the staff: Quiz the director on the general philosophy of the school and discipline techniques, and spend as much time as possible interviewing people who work there. Basically, you'll get a gut feeling whether a teacher is the kind of person who will know how to get your child excited about learning. Ask yourself: Is this the person I want my child spending several hours a day with? Is this the right environment for my son? Watch how the teacher relates to your son. Is he or she someone your child will enjoy being around? Be sure to take your son along and see how he reacts; don't be afraid to take cues from your child. (3) While you're at the preschool, don't neglect to examine the play equipment: Is it safe? (4) The goal of preschool is to prepare your son for big school, so you'll want to examine the preschool's methods of reading and writing preparation.

Observe the children at preschools you're visiting: Are they enjoying themselves, interacting, smiling, and do they seem interested in what they're doing? Does art made by kids decorate the walls? Find out if the children alternate active and quiet play, since both of these are necessary for preschool children. Examine the arts-and-crafts area. Does a sense of order prevail? At the same time, are the toddlers encouraged to mess around while, say, finger painting? Are children taught to share, wait their turns, and generally be considerate of other playmates? One of the most important goals of preschool is to give your son the social tools he'll need to succeed in life.

Are the snacks nutritious? It may seem like a small thing, but a nutritionally savvy preschool director understands how nutrition can affect learning and behavior.

After you've selected a preschool, prepare your son's teacher: Meet with your child's instructor and share your child's special needs or personality quirks, as well as anything you feel could make your son's school experience more pleasant. This also makes a good first impression on the teacher.
When your son first attends preschool, it should only be for a couple of hours a few days a week. Lengthen the school day as your situation demands and your child desires. To minimize normal separation anxieties, be prepared to spend some time in the preschool during the first week or two. If you can, stay with your child for the first hour for a few days to help ease the transition. Be sure your child knows that you believe he's ready. And don't project your own separation anxiety to your son; kids are very perceptive and will be upset if they detect it.
Sometimes the only way to know if your child's ready for preschool and which preschool is best for him is to try it out.}]


Preschool Education - An Encyclopedia.com article

Encyclopedia.com

Preschool Definition
Preschool is an early childhood program in which children combine learning with play in a program run by professionally trained adults. Children are most commonly enrolled in preschool between the ages of three and five, though those as young as two can attend some schools. Preschools are different from traditional day care in that their emphasis is learning and development rather than enabling parents to work or pursue other activities.

Description
Before 1960, the education of young children was primarily regarded as the responsibility of families within the home. As of 2004, most young children in the United States spend some portion of their days apart from their parents. Most attend some sort of center-based program prior to kindergarten. In 2001, 52 percent of three- and four-year-olds were in a nursery school or preschool program. The enrollment rate for four-year-olds in 2001 was nearly the same as the enrollment rate for five-year-olds in 1970. There are several factors influencing this dramatic change, including a rise in the numbers of mothers working outside the home, a decline in the size of families (leading more parents to turn to preschools as a social outlet for their children), and a growing desire to give children a head start academically. The higher the income and educational level of the parents, the more likely it is that a child will attend preschool. This correlation remains true in spite of increasing governmental support for programs targeting children in low-income households.

In addition to being called preschool, these programs are known by other names, including child care, day care, and nursery school. They vary widely in their setting, format, and educational philosophy. Preschools may meet all-day or half-day, either every day or just a few days per week. They may be sponsored by a church, operate as an independent non-profit, or run for profit. They may be part of the public school system or part of the Federal Head Start program.
Types of preschool programs

PRIVATE PRESCHOOLS 
Private preschools operate as for-profits, independent nonprofits, and programs sponsored by religious organizations. Most are part-day programs. Some so-called lower schools are affiliated with private schools and maintain an educational philosophy in accord with the parent institution. Though the margin is small, private preschools still claimed the majority of total preschool enrollment in 2001. The educational quality of private preschools varies from program to program. Regulation is primarily by state child care agencies, but the arrangement varies from state to state.

HEAD START 
Since 1965, the federal Head Start program has provided free education for young children in many low-income families across the United States. In 2000, Head Start served 11 percent of all three- and four-year olds in the United States. In 2001, Head Start reported enrollment of over 900,000 children, at a cost of roughly $7,000 per child. Head Start programs are available in all 50 states and are offered in a variety of formats, including both all-day and half-day programs. Some of them are held at the public school the child will eventually attend.

Since its inception, there has been debate about Head Start's effectiveness. Research has shown that children enrolled in Head Start enjoy immediate, measurable gains in cognitive test scores; however, researchers disagree as to the long-term impact. Some research has shown that Head Start has long-term effects on academic ability and success that do not fade over time. These effects include: persistent gains in achievement test scores, fewer occurrences of grade retention, and less placement in special education programs. Other long-term benefits include higher high school graduation rates and decreased crime and delinquency rates. As adults, Head Start graduates are more likely to get better jobs and earn more money. On the other hand, some experts believe the research shows that disadvantaged children in Head Start start off a step behind and never catch up. One of the primary concerns about the program is with its teachers, who only subsequently were required to have a two-year degree and who made less than half the average salary of a public school teacher. To help determine Head Start's effectiveness, a research project called The National Head Start Impact Study was underway as of 2004. It intends to follow between 5,000 to 6,000 preschool aged children through 2006 to determine if Head Start is effective and how Head Start works best for children.

PUBLIC PRESCHOOLS 
A growing number of states have started to fund preschool programs offered at public schools, called pre-kindergarten (or pre-K) programs. They may be administered by the local school board or by an independent contractor paid by the state. Like private preschools, they may operate for a full day or just half a day.

Most state-run preschool programs began like Head Start and focused their services on children with the greatest needs, either children with disabilities or children from low-income families. Most states in the early 2000s choose to have their prekindergarten programs serve children in low-income families or children who have other risk factors that place them at greater risk of school failure or educational difficulties. These risk factors may include having a disability, being a child of teen parents, or having limited proficiency in the English language. Georgia was the first state to have a universally available pre-K program, which was started in 1995. It is still the only state to make preschool available to all students. Other states, including West Virginia and Florida, are making long-term plans to move toward universal prekindergarten.

Research tends to find that public preschool programs (public schools and Head Start) exhibit a greater effect on children than do private preschools. One of the reasons is public school programs provide the same quality of services whether children are rich or poor, while private provider quality is lower for children from lower-income families. It may be an issue of getting what a parent can pay for. Most of the long-term research on the effects of preschool focuses on low-income children. There is very little data on any long-term benefits for middle-class children.

Qualities of a good preschool
According to the National Institute for Early Education Research, the types of teaching activities and classroom emphases that contribute to a high-quality early education for children include the following:
opportunities to learn persistence when working at tasks, direction following, and good listening skills
focus on language and literacy skills, as well as interactive book reading
emphasis on teaching children problem-solving skills
helping children expand their knowledge and increase their vocabulary
opportunities to learn beginning skills involving the alphabet, numbers, and spatial awareness
focus on scientific thinking skills as well as information about the everyday environment, the world, and how things work
emphasis on teaching early literacy and mathematics through a variety of activities and projects
opportunity for preschoolers to engage in music, art, and dramatic play
educational program in which parents are involved and have opportunities to watch and take part in classroom activities

Advantages of preschool
Many children who attend high-quality preschool programs have their lives changed for the better. In the first five years of life, children acquire the basic capabilities that prepare them for later success in school and life. Many studies show that high-quality preschools improve achievement, behavior, and school readiness for economically disadvantaged children. Follow-up research with these same children shows that they earn more money, experience more stable home lives, and become more responsible citizens than they would have if they had not attended preschool. Children who attend preschool are better prepared to enter kindergarten, both academically and socially. Whatever their format, preschools offer parents and children typical benefits. A good program can help children develop their gross and fine motor skills , improve their language and communication abilities, and exercise their creativity .

Disadvantages of preschool
The greatest academic and social progress seen in preschools is in children from deprived backgrounds. However, few programs have the quality necessary to bring about the benefits promised. The costs of a high-quality program can be far greater than the costs of education at some public universities. Most children in preschool, however, are not disadvantaged, and some researchers believe the same gains can be had at home by providing educational toys , games and books for the child. In some preschools, the emphasis on groups might mean that children will not receive the individual attention they require. This is a particular risk if the preschool does not follow the National Association for the Education of Young Children's recommended teacher-to-child ratio of no more than ten preschoolers per staff member. One-on-one instruction is an advantage parents will not likely find in any preschool. Opportunities for playing with other children exist in churches, clubs, and other outlets, where the child can learn social skills. Some believe that what children need most is lots of play and free time and close interaction with their parents, something that may be compromised if the child is away from home for long periods of time. Another disadvantage is that some children experience acute separation anxiety , indicating that they are not yet ready to make the transition to the preschool environment. Many programs also expect the child to be toilet-trained, a milestone that not all children have achieved at the preschool age.

Common problems
When selecting a preschool for their child, parents should be aware of certain problems or warning signs that might make them decide to look at a different preschool provider. These problems or warning signs may include:
  • negative reactions from other parents
  • inattention to established rules and regulations (Schools should have clearly established written guidelines for everything from operating hours to managing emergencies.)
  • lack of a sick-child policy (The preschool should require both staff and children to have current immunizations and regular checkups.)
  • indicating they are hiding something, schools that balk at parents dropping by unannounced
  • schools that either have no structure whatsoever or a structure that is inflexible
  • lack of age-appropriate activities and toys
  • an underqualified staff
  • large class sizes
  • dirty, unsafe facilities
  • an expired license
  • schools that promise to put a child on an academic fast track (These highly structured, intensive preschool academic programs create inappropriate expectations from children and may cause emotional stress.)

See the original article here

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Why Preschool Matters - Making the Right Decision


8. What makes a good teacher?
Find out about the teachers' training and credentials. Ideally, head teachers should have a minimum of an associate's degree and formal training in early-childhood education. "Research shows that teachers with college degrees and specialized early-childhood training have more positive interactions with children, provide richer language experiences, and are less detached," says Dr. Barnett. Also, consider teacher-child ratios. According to NAEYC standards, there should be at least one teacher for every eight to ten 4- and 5-year-olds, and one adult for every six 2- and 3-year-olds. Low child-teacher ratios are very important, since they allow teachers to give ample attention to everyone, notes Dr. McCartney. Talk to the teachers about how they work with the kids. "Look for teachers who recognize the particular needs of different children, and who know how to adapt a curriculum for those who are ahead as well as for those who need additional help," she says.

Visit a class while it's going on. A good teacher talks with children, asking a lot of questions and patiently answering theirs. She makes kids feel welcome and fosters their self-confidence. Talk with the teacher about a typical day, and ways in which she'll keep you informed about your child's progress. If she's responsive to your questions and you're happy with her answers and her classroom style, you've found a good fit.

Visit Checklist

When you meet with the school's director, ask about the following:

  • Does my child need to be toilet-trained? Many preschools require that a child be out of diapers.
  • How are parents involved in the school? A good sign is an active parent association that plans programs like family picnics, holiday parties, and parent socials. You might want to talk to other parents -- the preschool should give you names.
  • How will the teacher let me know about my child's progress? Parents should be kept informed with newsletters, e-mails, and regular parent-teacher conferences.
  • What do you do when two children are fighting? It's crucial that you agree with the school's discipline policy.
  • What's the daily routine? You want your child to have a sense of predictability each day -- circle time, snack, reading.

Why Preschool Matters - Choosing the Right Preschool


5. How old should my child be when she starts?
Most preschools serve 3-, 4-, and 5-year-olds, and many kids begin at age 4. (Some preschools will start accepting children at around 2 1/2, but that doesn't mean your child will be ready when he reaches that age.) You can choose from a part-time schedule or a full-time one. Your choice will depend on your family's situation -- working moms might prefer five days a week -- and on your child's temperament.

Parents typically start investigating options about a year before they want their children to attend. But if you live in a big city, where competition for spots can be fierce, you'll want to start applying even earlier and to more than one place.

6. How do I choose the right preschool?
Research, research, research. First, decide on location (close to work or home?) and hours (half-day, two or three days a week, full-time?). There are programs at private schools, daycare centers, religious institutions (like synagogues and churches), state-funded schools, and cooperatives run by parents. Start by asking for recommendations from other moms. Next, check whether the schools are state-licensed, which ensures the facility meets safety requirements and has adequate staffing (visit naccrra.org). Many states exempt religious-based preschools from all or some requirements -- although many meet these standards anyway.

The gold standard of approval is accreditation by the National Association for the Education of Young Children. NAEYC carefully evaluates schools and childcare centers based on curriculum, teacher qualifications, class size, and health and safety standards; only about 8 percent of U.S. preschools are currently accredited. (Search for NAEYC-accredited preschools near you at rightchoiceforkids.org.) In addition, many preschools now have Web sites that you should visit.

Call each school you're considering and ask about its fees, admission policy, and curriculum. Once you've narrowed down your choices, schedule visits. Most preschools run open houses during the winter. Also, meet with the director and spend time in a classroom to observe the teachers. Visit each school with your child and see how she responds to the classroom, the teachers, and the activities.

naccrra.org
rightchoiceforkids.org

7. What should I look for during a visit?
Check out the basics: Is the facility clean and safe? Keep your eye out for smoke detectors and first-aid kits. Is there a well-kept outdoor play area? Are there plenty of art materials, age-appropriate toys, and books? Are they in good condition? Is the atmosphere friendly and fun? Student work should be displayed in the hallways and around the classroom, hung at kid-level. "I tell parents to pay special attention to the artwork on the walls," says Dr. Barnett. "Would you be able to pick out your child's artwork? If all the pictures look the same, then your child will learn to make a bunny just like everyone else's. That's not really the goal."

The classroom should have a variety of activity areas -- a reading place, an art station with materials on shelves that kids can reach, a block corner, a puzzle area, and a place for naps. Children should not all be doing the same thing at the same time; they should be playing with toys or other kids but still well supervised.

Finally, do you feel comfortable? "You want to be confident that once you drop off your child, he'll be happy and well taken care of," says Mark Ginsberg, PhD, NAEYC executive director.

Making the Right Decision

The Importance of Preschool

1. What's the difference between childcare and preschool?
Childcare centers are generally an option for working parents who need their children to be taken care of during the day; centers accept babies as well as toddlers and are full-time, full-year programs.Preschool refers to an early-childhood educational class for 3- and 4-year-olds. Many offer a part-time schedule (for example, a few hours a day, two to five times a week) as well as full-day care, but only from September to May. Yet the terms are often used interchangeably. A childcare center with experienced, well-trained teachers and stimulating activities offers kids similar advantages to a preschool. "In fact, many preschools are part of childcare programs," says Linda Smith, executive director of the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies. (To learn more about high-quality childcare -- as well as preschool programs -- log on to naccrra.org and download a free copy of Is This the Right Place for My Child?)
naccrra.org

2. How important is preschool?
"There's increasing evidence that children gain a lot from going to preschool," says Parents advisor Kathleen McCartney, PhD, dean of Harvard Graduate School of Education, in Cambridge, Massachusetts. "At preschool, they become exposed to numbers, letters, and shapes. And, more important, they learn how to socialize -- get along with other children, share, contribute to circle time."

Statistics show that a majority of kids attend at least one year of preschool: According to the National Institute for Early Education Research (NIEER), more than two-thirds of 4-year-olds and more than 40 percent of 3-year-olds were enrolled in a preschool in 2005. "Children who attend high-quality preschool enter kindergarten with better pre-reading skills, richer vocabularies, and stronger basic math skills than those who do not," says NIEER director W. Steven Barnett, PhD.

"Every child should have some sort of group experience before he starts kindergarten," says Amy Flynn, director of New York City's Bank Street Family Center. Music and gymnastics classes are great, but what preschools do that less formal classes don't is teach kids how to be students. Your child will learn how to raise her hand, take turns, and share the teacher's attention. What's more, she'll learn how to separate from Mommy, who often stays in a music or gym class. All of this makes for an easier transition to kindergarten. "Kindergarten teachers will tell you that the students who are ready to learn are those who come into school with good social and behavior-management skills," Smith says.

In fact, educators have so recognized the importance of giving kids some form of quality early education that about 40 states now offer state-funded pre-K programs.

3. What will my child learn?
In addition to strengthening socialization skills -- how to compromise, be respectful of others, and problem-solve -- preschool provides a place where your child can gain a sense of self, explore, play with her peers, and build confidence. "Kids in preschool discover that they are capable and can do things for themselves -- from small tasks like pouring their own juice and helping set snack tables to tackling bigger issues like making decisions about how to spend their free time," says Angela Capone, PhD, senior program manager at Southwest Human Development's Arizona Institute for Childhood Development, in Phoenix. "Plus, 4- and 5-year-olds have begun asking some wonderful questions about the world around them -- what happens to the water after the rain? Do birds play? Quality preschools help children find answers through exploration, experimentation, and conversation."

4. But what about learning his ABCs?

"Young children can certainly learn letters and numbers, but to sit kids down and 'teach' them is the wrong way to do it," says Smith. "They learn best through doing the kinds of activities they find interesting -- storytime, talking to their teachers about stars, playing with blocks." To help kids learn language and strengthen pre-reading skills, for instance, teachers might play rhyming games and let kids tell stories. Keep in mind that for small children, school is all about having fun and acquiring social skills -- not achieving academic milestones. "Kids need to be imaginative and to socialize -- that's what fosters creative, well-rounded people. It's not whether they can read by age 4 or multiply by 5," says Flynn. An ideal curriculum? Parading around in dress-up clothes, building forts, and being read to.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

20 Tips for Parents from Preschool Teachers: Part 3

Disciplining Effectively

It struck me recently that I've never met a parent who doesn't use time-outs, and never met a preschool teacher who does. So what discipline strategies do teachers recommend?

17. Redirect. 
If your preschooler is jumping on the couch or grabbing for her big sister's dolls, distract her by asking if she'd like to draw a picture or read a short story together.

18. Prevent good-bye meltdowns. 
If your child is nervous about spending time apart, give him something tangible to remind him of you. Let him carry your picture; kiss a tissue or cut out a paper heart and put it in his pocket. Having something physical to touch may help him feel less anxious -- and short-circuit a tantrum.

19. Involve her in righting her wrongs. 
If you find her coloring on the walls, have her help wash it off. If she knocks over a playmate's block tower, ask her to help rebuild it.

20. Don't delay discipline. 
If you must reprimand your child, do so when you see her misbehaving, advises Buss. "Sometimes I will hear parents say, 'Wait until we get home ... ,' but by the time you're home, your child has forgotten the incident." Similarly, canceling Saturday's zoo trip because of Thursday's tantrum won't prevent future outbursts; it will just feel like random, undeserved punishment to your child.

Maguerite Lamb, a mom of two, is a writer in Glastonbury, CT.

Originally published in American Baby magazine, August 2006.

The information on this Web site is designed for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your pediatrician or family doctor. Please consult a doctor with any questions or concerns you might have regarding your or your child's condition.

20 Tips for Parents from Preschool Teachers: Part 1





I worry that my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At school she cleans up her toys, puts on her shoes, and is entirely self-sufficient at potty time. At home, she whines whenever I ask her to pick up anything, insists I join her in the bathroom whenever she has to go, and lately has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Clearly, her teacher knows something I don't.

But then, what parent hasn't occasionally wondered: Why is my child better for everyone else than for me? The simple answer: Your child tests her limits with you because she trusts you will love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean you can't borrow a few strategies from the preschool teachers' playbook to get the best from your child. We asked educators from around the country for their tips so listen up -- and take notes!

Promoting Independence

While 3- and 4-year-olds still need plenty of parental help, our preschool experts agree that kids are typically able to do more than many of us think. Here's how you can encourage them:

1. Expect more. 

Most people have a way of living up (or down) to expectations -- preschoolers included. "At school we expect the kids to pour their own water at snack, to throw away their plates, to hang up their jackets -- and they do," says Jennifer Zebooker, a teacher at the 92nd Street Y Nursery School, in New York City. "But then they'll walk out of the classroom and the thumb goes in the mouth and they climb into strollers." Raise the bar and your child will probably stretch to meet it.

2. Resist doing for her what she can do herself.
While it may be quicker and easier to do it yourself, it won't help to make your child more self-sufficient. Quick hint: Appeal to her sense of pride, suggests Donna Jones, a preschool teacher at Southern Oregon University's Schneider Children's Center in Ashland, Oregon. "Whenever I'm trying to get kids to dress, put jackets on, sit on chairs during meals and so on, I'll ask them: 'Do you want me to help you or can you do it yourself?' Those words are like magic," promises Jones. "The kids always want to do it for themselves."

3. Don't redo what they've done.
If your child makes her bed, resist the urge to smooth the blankets. If she dresses herself in stripes and polka dots, compliment her "eclectic" style. Unless absolutely necessary, don't fix what your child accomplishes, says Kathy Buss, director of the Weekday Nursery School, in Morrisville, Pennsylvania. She will notice and it may discourage her.

4. Let them solve simple problems. 
If you see your child trying to assemble a toy or get a book from a shelf that she can reach if she stands on her stepstool, pause before racing over to help. "Provided that they are safe, those moments when you don't rush in, when you give children a moment to solve things for themselves, those are the character-building moments," says Zebooker. "It's natural to want to make everything perfect, but if we do, we cheat kids of the chance to experience success."

5. Assign a chore.
Putting your preschooler in charge of a regular, simple task will build her confidence and sense of competency, says Buss. A child who is entrusted to water the plants or empty the clothes dryer is likely to believe she can also get dressed herself or pour her own cereal. Just be sure the chore you assign is manageable and that it's real work, not busywork, since even preschoolers know the difference. The goal is to make your child feel like a capable, contributing member of the family.

20 Tips for Parents from Preschool Teachers: Part 2

20 Tips for Parents from Preschool Teachers: Part 2


Winning Cooperation

Walk into almost any preschool class in the country, and you'll see children sitting quietly in circles, forming orderly lines, raising their hands to speak, passing out napkins and snacks. The question is: How do teachers do it? How do they get a dozen or more children under 4 to cooperate, willingly and happily? While there's no secret formula, most say:

6. Praise is key, especially if your child is not in a cooperative phase.
Try to catch her being good. Kids repeat behaviors that get attention.

7. Develop predictable routines. 
Kids cooperate in school because they know what's expected of them, says Beth Cohen-Dorfman, educational coordinator at Chicago's Concordia Avondale Campus preschool. "The children follow essentially the same routine day after day, so they quickly learn what they are supposed to be doing, and after a while barely need reminding." While it would be impractical to have the same level of structure at home, the more consistent you are, the more cooperative your child is likely to be, suggests Cohen-Dorfman. Decide on a few routines and stick to them: Everyone gets dressed before breakfast. When we come in from outside, we wash our hands. No bedtime stories until all kids are in jammies. Eventually, following these "house rules" will become second nature to your child.

8. Lighten up. 
If your child refuses to do something, try turning it into a game. "Humor and games are two great tools that parents sometimes forget about in the heat of the moment," says Zebooker. When her own son, now 13, was in preschool, she used to persuade him to put his shoes on in the morning by playing shoe store. "I would say, 'Welcome to Miss Mommy's Shoe Store, I've got the perfect pair for you to try on today,' and I'd speak in a silly accent and he loved it." (I've had luck using this strategy with Sophie, who used to clamp her mouth shut whenever I tried to brush her teeth. Now we play the "Let's Guess What You Ate Today" game -- and she willingly opens up so I can search her molars for cereal, strawberries, or mac and cheese.)

9. Warn of transitions. 
If your child pitches a fit whenever you announce it's time to switch gears --whether that means shutting off the TV, stopping play to come eat, or leaving a friend's house -- it could be that you're not giving enough advance notice. "At school we let kids know when transitions are coming so they have time to finish whatever they're doing," observes Cohen-Dorfman. "If you need to leave the house at 8:30 a.m., warn your child at 8:15 that she's five more minutes to play, then will have to stop to put her toys away. Set a timer so she knows when the time is up."

10. Use sticker charts and rewards judiciously. 
"If your child is always working for the reward, he won't learn the real reasons for doing things -- that he should pick up his toys because family members pitch in," says Buss. Best bet: Reserve rewards for finite endeavors, such as potty training, but avoid offering them for everyday things, such as dressing himself or brushing his teeth.

11. Give structured choices. 
If, for example, your 3-year-old refuses to sit at the dinner table, you might offer the choice of sitting and getting dessert -- or not sitting and missing out on a treat. "At first, your child may not make the right choice, but eventually he will, because he'll see that the wrong choice isn't getting him what he wants," says Buss. Just be sure, if you want your child to choose option A, that option B is less attractive.

12 No ifs.
Make requests in language that assumes cooperation. "If you finish putting away your crayons, we can go to the park," suggests that perhaps your child won't clean up his crayons. Try instead: "When you put your crayons away, we'll go to the park."

13. Prioritize play. 
Preschool teachers said over and over that kids today are less able to play imaginatively than kids of a decade or two ago. "Too much of their day is structured in supervised activities," says Haines. The antidote: Get comfortable saying "Go play." It's not your job to see that your child is entertained 24/7. Let her get a little bored. But make sure she has items like dress-up clothes, paint and paper, a big cardboard box, and play dough.

14. Do it to music. 
There's a reason the "cleanup" song works. "Set a task to music, and suddenly it's fun," says Sandy Haines, a teacher at the Buckingham Cooperative Nursery School, in Glastonbury, Connecticut. If you're not feeling creative, suggest "racing" a song: "Can you get dressed before Raffi finishes singing 'Yellow Submarine'?"

15. Encourage teamwork. 
If your child is fighting over a toy with another child, set a timer for five minutes, suggests Buss. Tell one child he can have the toy until he hears the buzzer, and then it will be the other child's turn.

16. Let your child work out minor squabbles.
Instead of swooping in to settle disputes, stand back and let them work it out (unless they're hitting each other). You won't always be there to rescue your child.

20 Tips for Parents from Preschool Teachers: Part 3